Monday, February 4, 2013

Parenting Decision part 1: Co Sleeping

Co sleeping was one thing I always swore that I wouldn't do. I saw my mom co sleeping with my younger sister as a young child and then struggling to get her out of her bed and room until she was around 10.. 
At the time, I couldn't imagine wanting to share a bed with your baby. Society made it seem like all babies belonged in their crib or bassinet from day one. To do something different was wrong and dangerous. 
When pregnant with Moose, we got him a crib and pack'n'play so he could be in our room the first 6 months and move into his crib in another room after that (per recommendations from doctors). 
We planned to have him in the little hospital baby bed thing when he wasn't being held to allow us both to sleep.
We planned to have the bed to ourselves until he wandered into the room after having nightmares when he got older.
I never realized how much our plans would change.
Twice while still in the hospital, I set Moose in the hospital bassinet to go into the restroom only to come out & find spit up on his face and my baby struggling to breathe. After two failed attempts at getting the nurses to acknowledge anything was wrong, he stayed with me in my bed. 
I refused to set him down if no one was watching him.
When we brought him home, I tried placing him in the pack'n'play bassinet next to the bed, but I struggled to get him to sleep in it without screaming and when he was asleep he would randomly stop breathing.
I was so afraid that if I left him in the bassinet that he would stop breathing and I wouldn't know until I woke up the next day.
We brought it up to his pediatrician and he refused to acknowledge that something may be wrong. 
So the co sleeping began. 
Mommy and moose slept on the couch because the bed was so soft Moose would roll face down which caused fear that he would suffocate.

We discovered that Moose had a milk allergy/intollerance when he was very little also, which meant big changes for my diet to help his tiny tummy feel better.
Soon after, he began to projectile vomit. 
Twice, he projectile vomited 2-3 feet off of his changing table.
A few times when he was laying down, he would vomit and choke on it. Twice, his lips started to turn purple before I got his airway cleared and him breathing again.
Yet again, we took him to the doctor, yet again they insisted nothing was wrong. 
We went home yet again unsatisfied and scared. 
Out of fear of possibly loosing our son, co sleeping continued.

Finally around 6 months old, we were able to move into the bed and off the couch. 
By this time, co sleeping had become comfortable and the idea of moving Moose to his own bed was ridiculous.
Moose was still having some breathing issues and hubby had decided that co sleeping was natural. After all, it's natural for a baby to want to be close to their parents to feel safe. It's been in our wiring since the early humans when being too far from parents usually ment death for an infant.
Granted, being a few feet or even a room away from us definitely doesn't mean death for a perfectly healthy baby, but Moose didn't fall into that category.

Eventually, Moose's sleep apnea seemed to go away but  the co sleeping didn't end. 
We tried to move him into his crib, but ended up with a baby who screamed until he threw up almost everytime we tried. I tried allowing him to fall asleep on me, then I would lay him in the crib but he always woke up. On occasion he would sleep for an hour or two on his own, but I could never get him back to sleep once he woke up.
At 15 months, I converted his crib into a toddler bed. Now he can walk into his room at bed time and lay down for his story. He doesn't sleep as long as we would like, but we can get him back to sleep after he wakes up most days. 

While we would like for him to sleep in his own bed, it has become a belief of ours that co sleeping is natural and eventually we will get our bed back. So until then, once he has slept in his bed a little while, we gladly welcome him into our bed for all night snuggles.

No comments:

Post a Comment