Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It's not "Goodbye"

My mom always told me to never say “goodbye”, it should always be “see you later” because you will see whoever it is again someday.
Unfortunately, I had to say see you later to my younger brother T on Saturday. T is going into the Army at the end of October and will be going to boot camp in Georgia. It was definitely a needed trip to go visit them though. I haven’t seen my brothers or step mom in 3ish years, so they had never met their little nephew Moose. We spent some time with T and his friends, my step mom, some of her family, and some family friends for a while, catching up on life, getting the latest on the drama with my birth father and chasing around Moose. My youngest brother M, who is 16, left at the beginning of the party, but came back before we left and we spent a long time hugging, letting him spend time with Moose and promising that I not only loved him, I always have loved him, always will love him, and that I will come back to visit so he can see his nephew again soon. Honestly, I don’t think there could have been anything sadder than seeing my 6 foot little brother crying because he thought that no one loved him and that, except for my step mom (his mom), that he was alone. I despise the awful things that our so-called-father has done to him and how broken he has become because of it. How anyone could destroy the spirit of such a wonderful boy and not even care is beyond me.

                                                            Moose meeting his Uncle M

                                                                  Moose meeting his Uncle T
 In the end, the visit was very bitter sweet. It added to the hatred and disgust that I have for my so-called-father, yet it was so good to see my family again. I knew I missed them a lot, but I didn’t realize just how much until I got to see T and was hugging M just like I did when he was a little boy. I really can’t believe just how fast time has gone and how much they have both grown. It’s going to take a long time, but I think one day, we will all be able to help each other heal from our wounds and we will all be much stronger people for it.

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