Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Rough waters ahead

I skipped posting yesterday as it was a difficult day in my house and I needed to take some time to deal with what was in my head and get to a good place for blogging. It will probably be a rough month for me with a lot of big events happening.
A little background: when I was a small child, my parents divorced and my birth father was not a big part of my life. He picked me up for the required visitations at the request at my step mom, and while I wanted to be close to him, it never happened and we have since stopped talking. I then gained a step father who was good to me until my little sister came along and we had a strained relationship until very recently. Through all of that, I had two constants in my life, one of my mom's brothers and her father. My grandfather and I became very close and he had such a huge influence on my life, my values, and the person I am today. Unfortunately, he passed away suddenly a few years ago. He never got the chance to meet my husband or my son. It kills me that one of the men who helped shape my life is not here for one of the biggest parts. I cry that he never got to hold his great grandson, never got to see him crawl, won't get to see him grow and learn. And will never be able to share his stories. This comes at a big deal this part of the year especially as my grandpa would be turning 88 on September 14, and Moose's birthday coming up in October. I would give the world to have him here with us, but I try to take comfort in the thought that he is Moose's guardian angel, teaching him things that he would be if he were here and watching over him, keeping him safe.
I try not to let the hurt show, but sometimes I become moody and I apologize if the tone of my blog becomes a bit somber. I will try to post about happy events, awesome products, yummy food but since I am here to share my life with you, it will occasionally mean sharing the bad too. Here is to sharing the good times, the bad times, and everything in between.
Have you ever had someone close to you pass away? Does it still affect you?

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